Why!!!! By Lhayla Herds

WHY!!!! There are so many questions that I needed answering….Being a victim of Child Sex Abuse.  I have undergone a very personal and very painful healing process.

Now….a Woman, a Mother and someone who now knows, that despite the years of holding my head in shame and disgust with myself, I can hold my head high and scream at everyone that I…

Lhayla Herds has eventually been set free!!

Set free of all my pain, heartache, feelings and often utter despair, that many victims feel through their journey of healing.

How do you describe “Healing”..Is there such a thing as being healed from Sexual Abuse?  Can we ever be healed?

Why!!!! Was written to explain to people, whether they are curious, or a victim of child sexual abuse themselves, unsure where to turn and what to expect….

Why!!!! Shows a cover to attract the younger generation!!  Should that not be what we “all” should be doing?  The Teenagers who have suddenly realised that they can no longer cope with their abuse. The young Adults who have held onto their darkest secrets for too long!! 

We can help these people, help them to understand that they are not alone!! That there are people out there who have gone through the same experiences but more importantly people out there to HELP!!

You will not only be able to be part of my Memories, Dreams, and Flashbacks but have the chance to be able to read My Personal Diary Extracts, Police Statements and Social Worker Reports, all collated from Original Documents of a Twelve Year Old girl in care.

Why!!!! The cover?? Whilst my parents were adamant that I was in fact just a Ring Leader for emotional limelight…hence the reason for releasing my Step Fathers abuse claim…I had informed the Police, that there was a Diary!!

A Diary taped with insulation tape under my bedside cabinet!!  This diary had dates, times and all of the abuse that he subjected me to. 

Where is that Diary now?  In the hands of Police Records..This was used to secure the proof and subsequent Imprisonment of my Stepfather.

The very first night that I was placed into Emergency Foster Care…I had nothing except my School Uniform on my back..no personal belongings and more importantly …No Diary.

So here is where my future began in a way…in the cover of Why!!!!

This was the sketch that I done that very night..a drawing of my Diary that released me from years of pain.. to temporarily replace the only proof I had.

Whilst I was approaching all possible hurdles to be able to heal both myself and write Why!!!! For others, it became apparent that “ I was right!” My mother was an accomplice to my abuse, from which I had been subjected to, by my Step Father.

Where am I now?? Here to tell my entire story!!

Where is my mother?? Still living with this animal after leaving me in care.

Where is “HE”??  Living the same life with my mother, like nothing “Ever” happened, the same wife, the same village, the same job. Living in society, being able to mix with everyday people…every day children!!

Why!!!! Is this allowed to happen??

Help me to help others…..

No matter whether you are

A teenager who has noticed the cover…

An adult living everyday knowing you should of reported your abuse…

A Foster Parent trying to understand your Foster Childs feelings…..

A Victim of Child Sex Abuse yourself.

We need to help the thousands of people out there, let them know they are not alone!!

I hope that by reading Why!!!! “YOU” can help bring these people to justice…

Why!!!! Should they be allowed to carry on their lives….leaving “So” many in pain!!

My Reasons for WHY!!!!!

Amongst what so many people class as Self Help and Closure…I really want to help make a difference.  Bring a happy memory to children in care!

Short Term….Royalties from Why!!!! To be released for funding an excursion / day trip to the Registered Foster Families of “Foster Talk”

Long Term…I have in place a Charity Auction to help Fund Raise for a Respite Retreat for Foster Carers / Children in the South of England .

Take a look at our Page on Face Book!!  Both for Why!!!!! Lhayla Herds and our link to Charity Auction within this page..make a difference!!!

About the Author

Lhayla Herds was a very normal child, who was subjected to Sexual Abuse from her Step Father.  At the age of 12, she was able to overcome her fears and threats that she was subjected to.

With the help from her Best-friend and Boyfriend at the time, she was able to escape.

Escape from all her pain and torture.

Now….22 years later, she is able to tell others of all her feelings and experiences that lay in front of her.

A woman, a wife, a mother of two, she shares with you all the memories, dreams and flashbacks and heartache that remains with her, since her escape.

A very normal woman, a very normal wife, a normal mother but not such a normal life!!!

Read where her life is now…..crossing every milestone,  hurdle and experience that life could throw at her.

Why!!!!???